How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
