What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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