This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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