Kiss
Puke
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
