I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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