My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
babies were throwing up all over the place
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
