You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The power of my boobs compel you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
