...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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