they need to just BURY HIM!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
