did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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