he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
