She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
