Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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