sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
