she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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