this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
