Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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