I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
