Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
