But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
