Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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