I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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