I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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