Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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