Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
