Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
