Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
