By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
