I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
