Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
