Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders