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• (914): View more from New York

  Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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• (845): View more from New York

  so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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• (818): View more from California

  I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers

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