the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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