we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...