Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (755) Bad night (2639)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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  (403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong. http://tfl.nu/sr7f
  Replies (19) Good night (2431) Bad night (1019)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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  (713): You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin (954): Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language http://tfl.nu/75up
  Replies (34) Good night (1175) Bad night (5129)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck

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  (410): there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck http://tfl.nu/47wj
  Replies (18) Good night (3469) Bad night (973)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

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  (970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off. http://tfl.nu/qavz
  Replies (34) Good night (6858) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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  (901): How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games? http://tfl.nu/94zu
  Replies (14) Good night (4361) Bad night (897)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.

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  (404): They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans. http://tfl.nu/hk9w
  Replies (14) Good night (7426) Bad night (1095)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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  (425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3569) Bad night (860)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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  (443): Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER. http://tfl.nu/iqvs
  Replies (4) Good night (5135) Bad night (983)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

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  (330): You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/znwq
  Replies (4) Good night (5310) Bad night (1271)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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  (814): You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high http://tfl.nu/8t28
  Replies (7) Good night (1358) Bad night (644)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

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  (203): Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid. http://tfl.nu/8q4l
  Replies (8) Good night (2385) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.

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  (210): Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience. http://tfl.nu/wox2
  Replies (16) Good night (1374) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.

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  (512): But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation. http://tfl.nu/31qq
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.

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  (309): Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros. http://tfl.nu/cejf
  Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (356)

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