I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro