Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!