That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
