Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
