She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
