drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am available for nakedness
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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