We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize