yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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