Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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  (904): Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/aofb
  Replies (11) Good night (696) Bad night (3711)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  He looks like a bad one night stand.

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  (561): Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced. (1-561): He looks like a bad one night stand. http://tfl.nu/5suu
  Replies (52) Good night (601) Bad night (2631)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (633) Bad night (3638)
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  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
  Replies (21) Good night (4891) Bad night (1187)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night

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  (609): Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/7184
  Replies (17) Good night (5130) Bad night (1160)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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  (573): There's always time for handjobs http://tfl.nu/m1ol
  Replies (13) Good night (2624) Bad night (670)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
  Replies (3) Good night (1820) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.

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  (817): I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional. http://tfl.nu/nh0n
  Replies (1) Good night (1035) Bad night (372)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.

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  (412): Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster. http://tfl.nu/q387
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (459)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (546)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.

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  (617): I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final. http://tfl.nu/105u
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down

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  (613): Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down http://tfl.nu/70sk
  Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (463)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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  (973): Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us http://tfl.nu/2son
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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  (458): I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/1kx8
  Replies (0) Good night (714) Bad night (172)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.

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  (503): He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume. http://tfl.nu/sl1w
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (307)

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