Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

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(314): View more from Missouri

Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

Wtf? What happened?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face

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(775): View more from Nevada

FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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(647): View more from Ontario

I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.

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