well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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