My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
