Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before http://tfl.nu/2m53
  Replies (45) Good night (522) Bad night (4792)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase. http://tfl.nu/kajo
  Replies (22) Good night (6305) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  Your pregnant arnt you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil. (1-646): Your pregnant arnt you http://tfl.nu/t59m
  Replies (21) Good night (1533) Bad night (5221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful http://tfl.nu/0wk6
  Replies (8) Good night (1335) Bad night (3760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i want to swaddle you in tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i want to swaddle you in tequila http://tfl.nu/ks6c
  Replies (4) Good night (2555) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1477) Bad night (4462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/euqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1840) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl
  Replies (8) Good night (2210) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (575) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out http://tfl.nu/559d
  Replies (20) Good night (3426) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got. http://tfl.nu/7wlw
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf (615): Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?! http://tfl.nu/9d33
  Replies (9) Good night (560) Bad night (1677)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot http://tfl.nu/7zmw
  Replies (7) Good night (2127) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!! http://tfl.nu/tb1b
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (209) Bad night (578)

Randomize