new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.