She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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