On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
