He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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