i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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