There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
