Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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