Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
