My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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