I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
