drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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