you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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