he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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