So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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