Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
only you would photoshop your dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
