my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
