I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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