Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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