Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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