Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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