he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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