how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
