So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
